Meet the Woman in Your Old Photos

I've lived nine professional lives, easily. Especially in my 40s and 50s. Careers, pivots, versions of myself I built and rebuilt to fit whatever season I was in.

But here's what I've learned along the way: reinventing yourself and reclaiming yourself are not the same thing, and only one of them actually makes you feel like you.

Reinvention, for me, has always been professional. New titles, new directions, new versions of "what I do." That kind of change is fine. Sometimes it's necessary. But it's not the same as the deeper work, the work of reclaiming who you actually are underneath all of it.

I never had to go back and relive my twenties or my childhood. I was fully present for every decade as I lived it. What I did have to do, especially in midlife, was get back to basics. And oddly enough, one of the clearest places that shows up is in front of a camera.

On this episode, we talked about how so many women flinch at being photographed, not because of how they actually look, but because being seen means being exposed. You can't hide behind old idealized versions of yourself in a photo. It's just you, right now, as you are. That's exactly why reclaiming matters more than reinventing. You don't need a new face or a new life to feel worthy of being seen. You need to make peace with the one you already have.

This is actually the work someone like Tracy does. She doesn't just organize your photos, she helps you pull your essence out of them and build a framework for who you are based on what's actually there.

So here's an idea. Instead of a resolution this Christmas break, try this instead.

Pull out your photos and pick your favorite from each decade of your life. Put them side by side. Sit with them for a while. Who is she? What has she gone through? How did she come out the other side? What has she learned?

Write about her. The woman in those photos that you should know so well.

Get your best friends together and do it as a group. Pour a glass of wine, spread the photos out, and really look at who you've been. It might be one of the most cathartic things you do all year.

Reclaiming yourself isn't about becoming someone new. It's about stripping away everything that isn't actually you, including the parts you've been hiding from the lens, and getting honest about what's left.

Listen to the full episode of Grownish Women, where we talk more about what it means to stop reinventing and start reclaiming.